The Magic of the MCAs: State Testing

Each year my kids appear more stressed and anxious when MCAs roll around.  State testing, and the overall vibe has shifted quite a bit since I was a kid. 

How Ms. Hicks Approached MCAs at 10:

• When you finish a standardized test you're supposed to read quietly.  I was a math kid so I hated when I was told to read.  However, I was a good kid and at least was sweet enough to "look the part."  You know Pizza Hut's BOOK IT reading challenge?  I'll be honest.  This girl ate pizza unethically for years.  I had enough self discipline to hold a book for a 1/2 hour a day and every couple minutes turn the page in order to get my personal pan pizza.  Sadly, Mama Hicks was peacocking "The Precious One's" literacy as we sat in that booth.  She'll never believe you if you try to clue her in on what I've just shared.  Anyway, this was the same work ethic I took to the post test silent reading opportunities.  I always chose a book with an athlete on the cover.  Let's be honest,  I judge a book by its cover.  
• If I didn't know the answer I would look at the design the filled in bubbles created on my answer sheet.  I would scan it for a pattern and if I couldn't find some repetition  I decided I would choose the answer that made the funkiest design.  I know what a lot of you are thinking right now: "Wow.  What a rebel.  She neglected to go with the old standby, C."  I'm fairly confident that either AC Slater or Zach Morris tipped us all off on that years ago.  More recently, I'm pretty sure someone at MIT or Harvard backed that theory with a study. However, I'm a leader not a follower, so I went the road less traveled.
• I wasn't aware these scores went back to mom and dad.  These felt more like a favor I was doing for some guy they had nick named "The State of MN."  I thought we were just helping some guy "get a feel for how much 4th graders know."  If I would have known he was going to tell my parents I wouldn't have looked at the clock and filled in the remaining bubbles quickly because I feared being late to recess.  We played basketball with the boys....and it was the only time I could rationalize my proximity.  

Kids of Today:

• Each year the kids become more aware of the importance of the MCAs.  Although I'm happy they understand it is important to do their best in order to get an accurate read on their progress, I'm saddened by how it affects them negatively.  They are using the terms "fear, stress, and anxiety" in association with the standardized tests.  These are words that weren't even in my vocabulary at 10.  To combat this feeling of negativity I tried to present my kids with a metaphor.  I told them to consider this the big game.  Each day is like practice, and when you get a chance to play at the highest level and get your efforts validated it's fun and worth all that hard work.  This pep talk helped a little, but didn't completely eliminate the pressure they feel. 

Questions pre/post testing from the kids who embraced my pep talk:

1. "Ms. Hicks...umm...I know you said just 5 pieces of unwrapped candy or mints, but what if they're little? Or if we had a light lunch?"
2. "Ms. Hicks, do the MCA people force you to walk in circles the whole time? (he didn't even wait for a reply) You poor thing, you should get a nap.  You've probably walked a mile or two."
3. "Ms. Hicks, what if we have candy in pieces.  Like if it came in one bag does it count as one candy?"
4. "We have people volunteering as bathroom monitors? (giggling) Why? What do they think we're going to do in there?"  
5. "Hey, Hey, Ms. Hicks, what's your favorite color.  I know you like green then blue, but what's next?"

Questions from the kids who still had underlying fear, stress, or anxiety about the MCAs and its rules pre/during/post testing:

1. "Is this a #2 pencil? Because I don't see a tiny 2 on it."
2. "Sorry.  Can I go to the bathroom? I'm sorry."  Apologizing for potty? Sad and unnecessary.  Apologizing because your break matches your pencil...wellllllll...Ok. Ok. Even then, they shouldn't apologize.   
3. "Ms. Hicks, am I allowed to blow my nose?  

Today, I was prouder than a soccer mom at the World Cup.  I had the privilege of walking in the shoes of David Beckham's mom.  My kids were amazing and worked so hard and took it so seriously.  While carrying out my test monitoring duties and circulating the room for around 4 hours today I had the opportunity to peacock to myself about my babies and their work ethics.  It also allowed me an opportunity to stumble upon a shocking realization.  Turns out I become less of a scone and more like toast about an hour with my own company.  I bore myself.  There are a lot of awkward silences in my head after I run through my short list of conversation pieces.  I fear tomorrow within the first hour I'll default to "how 'bout this weather." 

Touche, April 1st, Touche

Every night there are 5 different routines I have that help countdown the days until I get to see Matt. Some of you are thinking I may need to pick up a hobby or seek some help, however if you reread my first sentence you'll quickly realize I don't have any time for that :) The largest of these is the paper chain.

I’m still amazed by the fact I got “hole in the wall clearance.” The fact she let me put push pins into the wall was probably because I’m a bit of a crier when he first leaves. Let’s be honest it’s not a pretty sight when this happens.  My sister hits her threshold quicker than a groom on his wedding night when it comes to comforting irrational crying.  There’s aggressive eye squinting and my mascara likes to cheat on the lashes and party with the rest of my face.  Frankly, the holes in the wall were the only bearable option if she wanted a peaceful next couple of months.

Fast forward a few weeks, and Steph heads to Mexico on spring break. She thought my J.Lo suitcase from Santa would be the finest touch, and so she asked to borrow it.  I like to keep my suitcases behind my bed.  You know in case someone needs a birthing coach and goes into labor or if my parents decide to spring a trip to Disney on me...I’ll be ready.  Anyway, she was responsible for putting it back in it’s spot after she had returned from her trip.  It was one of the few activities I felt she could execute unsupervised.  That was until tonight.  I went to rip off a link from the paper chain when I sat back in excitement.  If you look at the pictures you’ll see 4 push pins that have no links, and then 4 that have links.  One of which only has half of the chains.  That would imply we were over halfway!  Then my instincts I so beautifully fine tuned during my Sesame Street days kicked in.  The number on the very final link was 11.  If the Cookie Monster and Count didn't lead me astray then something was amiss.  

It would appear my sister thought she’d be funny and screw with my countdown while I was sleeping.  However, I'm confident she didn't intentionally play with my emotions. I sense she was careless and knocked them off their pins and haphazardly put them back up. If she were to carry out an operation of this caliber it would take extreme stealth and as a wise woman once said “ain’t nobody got time for that.”  Steph may not have time for that, but April Fool’s Day sure does.  A day such as this plays on the weaknesses of people like my sister and uses them to figuratively flick people like me right in the nose.  Next time he’s deployed over April 1st you better believe I’m using a staple gun and hanging a super sweet “Keep Out” sign on my door so she can't be April 1st's pawn.  The security I plan on orchestrating to protect my next paper chain puts the efforts of the secret service to shame.