Me: Hello?
Girl: Um, (throat clearing), yes...ahhhhh...hmmmm, oh...Lauren?
Me: Yes, this is.
Girl: Oh. Ok! Well, I'm a sophomore at St. Kate's.
~Bursts of giggling on her part, silence on mine~
Girl: We have all your information, but not your employer or job title. Soooo?
~Awkward giggling on her part~
Me: I can definitely give you that (courtesy laugh). District 112. I'm a 4th grade teacher.
Girl: Whoaaa. Incredible.
Me: (Peacocking slightly, but shaming her for being overly excited) Well, the kids seem impressed daily.
Girl: I bet! That's super! I thank you for all you do. (she's acting as though she's running for president or lobbying for preferential treatment for her kid) So, when you like went here it was for your BA, right?
Me: No, actually I went to St. Ben's for my undergrad in education, and St. Kate's for my master's.
Girl: Wow! That's amazing! What did you get your master's in and who were your favorite professors?
Girl: Wow! That's amazing! What did you get your master's in and who were your favorite professors?
Me: (At this point I'm feeling as though I'm really shocking this girl with how big of a deal I am. Maybe I should give myself more credit! Everything I do is gold to her.) Well, my undergrad was education, so my master's was also in education (wouldn't that be obvious for most? Maybe I expect to much) As for professors it was so long ago, and they all kinda blend together.
Girl: I totally know what you mean, I can't remember who even taught my class today. (no laugh and no transition, she just went right into it) So, now I'm calling for the annual fund. It helps people like me go to college. So, can you give me $250?
~She starts up the nervous giggling again~
Me: Well, I'd love to, but I have a sneaky suspicion you wouldn't accept my mom's credit card?
~Church style giggling from her~
Me: So, are you able to check what I gave last year and I'll up it $5? Sorry, I'd love to give more, but I also like food and clothing.
Girl: No, nooooo, noooooo. That gift is outstanding, honestly sooo helpful and (giggles woven throughout) it makes me happier than you'll ever. (although you'd expect it, there was absolutely zero sarcasm in this comment. Then she gained a whisper voice) Honestly, when these people call me some day I'll laugh at them when they ask for that much.
~She starts giggling. Lots and lots of giggling. Slowly progressed throughout the conversation into an almost rhythmic routine~
I'm sitting here trying to figure out if she had a study session with Jimi Hendrix and Willie Nelson prior to this phone call, or if I'm failing to recognize just how far a $15 donation can stretch. The more I think about it, I bet I just gifted a future St. Kate's student a 64 count crayon box WITH the sharpener on the back, and a bedazzled Justin Beiber trapper keeper.
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