We Share The Pants, but He's The Only One Who Could Fix 'Em If Torn

The more time I get to spend with Matt the more domestically inferior I feel in our relationship. Our problem solving approach is very different and I've come to realize he's not just a pilot, and typical male, he's got trophy wife tendencies. His skills would earn his father a whole herd of cows in terms of a dowry.

Example 1:

We've all danced,  but when Flo Rida comes on Matt gets 'limbo  low' and doesn't simply tap, rather he hits the floor. This could produce pant part-age. Split pants don't appropriately highlight boots with the fur. To maintain hipness I'd buy a new pair, whereas he pulls out his needle and thread. 

Dowry  Points:

Matt-1  Lauren-0

It's fall, and what better way to celebrate than a warm cup of apple cider. I like to splurge at the local Caribou, whereas he reaches for his crockpot and mixes his own cider from carefully calculated spices. Sure my approach is faster, but from the looks of it the peacocking rights earned are worth the wait.

Dowry  Points:

Matt-2 Lauren-0

I wear makeup to the gym, and im confidently hoping he doesn't. Also, I hold a personal record of 20 diaper changes/5 potty trainers  in under an hour when I worked at a daycare. This was post lunch duty, so my past poop encounters earn me 2 points. 

Dowry Points:

Matt-2 Lauren-3

Finally,the purpose of a good trophy wife/girlfriend is to peacock to others. Typically, that's the boy's job. I like to break social norms apparently.  I started tutoring a girl again that I had a couple years back. I had given her an Irish  Claddagh ring on our last day and explained how its positioning showed relationship status. Today half way through she looks at me and goes 'what's his name?' I said 'Matt (and noticing she was wearing her ring in the boyfriend way asked), and yours?' She responded 'Christian, and he's really good at math, he taught himself trigonometry.' Feeling slightly competitive I said 'yeah mine too. He's got an aeronautical engineering degree which means rocket science type math.' It was at this moment I realized I had lowered myself to the 'my dad can beat up your dad' fight.' 

My mother would be severely disappointed in my non domesticated ways. Please don't tell her, and if she asks I straighten my hair daily and more truthfully still have never said a swear word.