10 VS Fashion Show Observations

My Victoria Secret Fashion Show Observations

1. I like how the models walk out and have a look of surprise on their face.  It's as though someone whispered Victoria's secret moments before walking on stage.  That or they are caught off guard that they're in their underwear in public.
2. Rihanna's pearl sunglasses confused me until I realized she was probably just using them to shield her eyes from the bright diamonds in the sky.  Her bedazzlement is worth the risk of clam endangerment.
3. Most of these women have accents.  Even though I'm confident most are faking them to sound fancy, I appreciate it.  It gives me reason to believe they're like unicorns from a made up land.  
4. Every so often, when one really wants to let her wings be seen, she'll pause and stare into the camera.  As she's doing this she gets a very intense look on her face.  It's the same look one gets when they step in gum or dog poop.  Or perhaps she's trying to break me and get me to spill the beans through stare down intimidation tactics.
5. Why do I feel more inappropriate looking at Justin Bieber in his white God like ensemble then the models?
6. Bruno Mars always wears a hat for one of two reasons.  Either he's shielding us from the male patterned baldness or he's creatively adding a few inches to his 5'6 frame.  
7. Have we ever considered how these women get such good bodies? I'm convinced it's because their feathers fly off their wings and blow right in their food.  Just like a hair nobody wants to finish eating after that.
8. I've heard many people make snide remarks about athletes being mouth breathers.  However, I haven't seen one mouth closed for longer than a swallow break.
9. What are the chances a female takes this fashion show too literally.  I fear a girl somewhere might try to recreate this magic by strapping on an over-sized pair of wings or flower petal shoulder pads.  Can you imagine the reaction she'd get...well if she could pivot her way through the door.
10. My biggest fear is all these spry young women will need premature knee and hip replacements with the aggressive sashaying I've witnessed tonight.