Deflating Conversations

My recent conversation with Lauren and what’s wrong with education:

ME: Lauren, here’s something fun you can do.  Look up RSA animates.

LAUREN: RS--what?

ME: RSA, a space, then animates.  

LAUREN: um . . .

ME: (typing gingerly) They are videos like the ‘power of networks’, ‘the divided brain’, ‘choice’  . . . haven’t you seen them?  You’ve seen the education ones, haven’t you?

LAUREN: Wait wait...you just listed the three most boring things possible.  (mocking) “Hey, Lauren, do you want to calculate the probable DOW for tomorrow?”

ME: OMG , you’re a teacher!

LAUREN: It’s summer, I’m off.

I sit in stunned silence

LAUREN:  You bore me. That’s an awful sales pitch, you should be embarrassed.






Life lesson with Steve; learning to show some discretion with who I trust:

Steve, Mr. Roger’s long lost brother, proudly holds down cash register #2 at the St. Louis Park post office.  I usually get register #3 where a small woman resides.  Her sass usually provokes an unnecessary apology from me for not pulling out my credit card quickly enough.  Today I was confident the Post Office would finally uphold its promise because Steve was in charge of my goods. He’d most definitely handle it with care.   As he was prepping my package he noticed the address (The boy I write home about, Matt, is deployed right now) and said to me “please thank him for his service.”  Steve had won me over, and I felt we had hit a new level of intimacy with such sweet words.  It was at this moment he swindled me into buying stamps.  He claimed I had my pick and pulled out a flyer with a plethora of options.  Feeling fun, I pointed to the Pixar theme.  What he pulled out was not your run of the mill stamp.  They were stamps on steroids, and left me feeling confused and gluttonous.  Silver lining: my stamp is bigger than your stamp.  Makes me feel like I’m winning. And everything I mail promises to bring a smile.  Pretty good.