Stranger Danger

Everybody needs a really quality escape move- something that covers that moment when someone leans in a little too closely or says something so boring, you’re embarrassed they talked. 

Tonight at Target, I was totally engrossed in wires and plugs when Lauren smack me and says, “Did you hear that?”

So . . . right there in the electronics section of Target a male employee in his 20’s was reassuring a very awkward teen employee that he “wasn’t trying to be creepy or weird” which just screams that indeed you are both creepy and weird.Then he coyly states, “And there’s a question I want to ask you, but I’m afraid to.”

Per usual, Steph, your dedication to being concise has eliminated the true inappropriateness of this male predator. First, it was a gentle tap, not a smack. And 20s? In the height of the 90s, maybe. He was flirting with 40s. He led this whole conversation with “You know you’re the only one in this whole store I can’t get a read on. I mean I’m not trying to be rude, but I can’t figure you out." The poor minor replies with “oh, ya, I’m kinda quiet.” Then as he is telling this boy that he’s got this top secret question as though he’s one of the CIA’s finest, a customer inquires about an iPod charger. It gave the poor kid just enough time to slip away or so we all thought until the 40 year old really went for it and yells out “oh you used that as a way to run away from me as quickly as you can.” The kid was a good 5 yds. away which should indicate to you we were no longer eavesdropping they were inviting us into this conversation..

I had had enough, but Lauren was glued. I wasn’t in the mood to report anyone, but Lauren’s issue was much different. As we walked away she worried, “What do you think the question was?”

I don’t think his question was a mystery, rather the way in which he planned on delivering it. Word choice is everything . This man was moments from offering either an indecent proposal a love story that transcends the ages.