One A Competitor, Always A Competitor

I have the (perhaps unhealthy) need to turn anything into a competition. So, imagine my excitement when I stumbled upon an impromptu 'Towelbowl' or for my hockey fans let me refer to it as a 'Towelcup.'
 

 

 

This is what happens when Steph attempts anything domestic. I feel for her future husband, but not in a sexist way. With her effort and win percentage for challenges such as these he'll never stay sharp for 'events' with outside competitors. These events might include, but are not limited to:

• Putting out the garbage first in the neighborhood:  Athletes do it the night before, while the faint of heart roll out their weekly stank the morning of.

• Getting the perfect pump on a brisk December morning while the weak allow the numbness to set in ending their total bill on some odd cents, like $40.04

 

 

I, clearly, have the rare ability to stay sharp regardless of her repeated defeats. I attribute it to holding secret competitions against 'my kids' daily that they're not even aware they're participating in:

• Sharpest pencil
• Quietest in the hall
• Whose shoe stays tied the longest
• Who can go the longest without a bathroom break
• Who gets there earlier, and leaves later
• Whose dance moves are the funkiest during morning announcements

I win these daily...