The Education of Honey Boo Boo

 

As we transition into fall, I find myself presented with quite the challenge. I am not a huge tv person, especially once school starts. I only make time for the occasional football or basketball game. Yet, in the final days of summer, I’ve stumbled upon a show that makes me both confident and fearful. I worry this curiosity will shift into an addiction. Honey Boo Boo may be the good girl’s illicit drug.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

The Fears:

• I have my master’s yet there is new terminology constantly being thrown at me. I’m hip on Webster and Urban Dictionary, and but I find myself learning new lingo each episode.
  
  (a.) Example 1: “We stockpile the toilet paper so you can wipe your too-tay” Too-tay means one’s butt apparently. And here I thought it was the girl from “The Facts of Life.”
  (b.) Example 2: “The pig ooo’d herself.” Ooo’d means pooped. Frankly, I think they’re just being lazy with the word poop. They basically took the p’s off the front and back of the o’s to get ooo’d, but maybe I’m just an overachiever.
  (c.) Example 3: “I’m gonna put a lil’ paint on this ol’ barn.” The mom was talking about getting ready for her date with her man. The paint on the barn was a metaphor for makeup on her face. How fancy.

The Confidence Factor:

• The boyfriend or husband or special fella on the show, at one point sees his lady put on a snarly blonde wig and responds “seeing her in that blonde wig got me a lil frisky.” A $2 rat’s nest can get someone frisky,? My God, I’ve got a wig from my Mary Katherine Gallagher Halloween costume circa ‘04 I bet would blow some minds.
• Many times they put subtitles on for the general public to decipher what’s being said by each of the family members because of the heavy accents and incorrect grammar. I realize I have a Minnesota accent, but I drag out the letters in words . This just makes it easier to understand me. Plus, the accent insinuates “she makes a good hot dish, and knows how to work a shovel...”