Garage Sale Stake Out

I woke up to find our neighbor (who I spoke of a few posts ago) supervising a garage sale. As her daughter and sister set up shop she walked the perimeter of the driveway and puffed away on her Marlboro like she was Joe Camel’s star crossed lover.

I avoid awkward situations or conflict at all costs and felt guilty like it was my neighborly duty to go shopping at their makeshift store. The window shopping I did from within the house proved disappointing. So, to avoid being forced to buy something I made sure that each exit and entrance from my house consisted of a fake, yet seemingly important, phone call. I plan on resorting to a cop like stake out to entertain myself over the next few days. It’s like watching the animals at the zoo. I’m not only shocked by how many people flock to these things, but I’m enamored with the difference in skill level the shoppers exhibit. The veterans’ approach isn’t one of leisurely browsing. It’s more like watching security pat down someone who beeped in the airport. They quickly scan and double tap a few things and their out. Whereas the rookies tend to get swindled into conversation and end up feeling obligated to buy a few things because the family seems nice. (This is why I plan on hiding, I’d be swindled for sure. I sense my usual fallback for avoiding casual spending, “ooo, I’m a teacher” wouldn’t fly with this crowd.)

I thought most of these patrons fell into these two categories: veterans and rookies, but I had the privilege of experiencing the Michael Jordan of garage sale shoppers. As you recall Michael was cut from his high school team, but he didn’t let that stop him. So when a family just rolled up in a Blue and White taxi van I realized they didn’t let something silly like not having a car stop them from uncovering the treasures this sale might hold. At first I was confused by the fact you’d spend money on a taxi to go shop at a place meant to save you money. Then, I thought of Michael Jordan’s journey and realized it’s called perseverance.